Ways to cope when chronic illness wears you down

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Coping with chronic illness can be utterly exhausting. Not only do we have to struggle with unpleasant symptoms and deal with often unsympathetic doctors, but we also have to deal with all the normal challenges day to day life brings! Such a combination can leave a person feeling worn out and pessimistic. Here are some tips which I have found help me when things start to get too much!

1) Have a good moan

We need to give ourselves the space to just recognise how we are feeling. Dealing with chronic illness is hard. It often feels like we have been given an unfair burden to carry and we wish that things didn’t have to be so hard. Find a way to let out your negative feelings: vent to a friend, write in your diary – anything to get the feelings out! It can be incredibly helpful to seek out a professional to talk to, or if you are in a crisis there are many helplines you can contact. Don’t be afraid to reach out, we all need a bit of extra support at times!

2) Re-evaluate your life

So things are difficult right now. Why are they difficult? Is everything completely out of your control, or can you identify some areas in your life you do have the power to change? Could you eat healthier, drink less alcohol or make other lifestyle changes that might improve your sense of physical and mental well-being? Do you need to remove a toxic person from your life? Is it time to look at changing jobs or even careers? Taking an objective look at your life might help you identify ways in which you can make positive changes. I find that even identifying small areas I can change change gives me back a sense of control over my life and hope that things can change for the better.

3) Make time for yourself

You deserve good things in your life. You deserve to be treated well, and you deserve to treat yourself well. Recognise that dealing with chronic illness requires a great deal of perseverance and inner strength, and you’ve got these things! Arrange some time out and do something nice for yourself. It can be something big or small – from going on holiday or booking tickets to a concert to painting your nails or just taking some time to enjoy the beauty of nature! Whatever your budget do something nice for yourself and help boost your mood!

4) Take time to be grateful

No matter how difficult things get there is always something we can be grateful for. Although we don’t want to deny how hard things can get, we don’t want to get stuck dwelling on them either! You can choose what you focus on. Will you think about all of the things you dislike in your life, or will you choose to try focus on the good? One of my favourite activities before bed is mentally listing all the things I am grateful for. On good days it’s an easy task, on bad days I have to work a bit harder, but I never find nothing to be grateful for. Try it! List out everything you can think of that you’re grateful for. Even small things, such as having fluffy socks on your feet, should make the list!

5) Go to bed!

My last tip, and one that has saved me countless times, is to just call it a day and go to bed. Often the negative thoughts are worse at night. You’ve had a long day, your brain is full of toxins and the body needs time to rest and recover. Instead of mulling over all your problems – hit the hay! A sleep may not fix all your problems, but you will be better equipped to handle life with a spell of rest under your belt!

I hope these tips have been helpful. Remember: you are a fighter and you can get through whatever life throws at you!

Peace and love. x

Friday thoughts: relationships and the chronically ill me

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Hi all,

Today is Friday! At last we’ve reached the end of the working week and in just a few hours we shall be granted a slight reprieve from the daily grind. My body is definitely feeling the strain of the week so I am very excited! 🙂

Friday is supposed to be ruled by the planet Venus and associated with goddesses such as Aphrodite and Freyja so love is a strong theme for the day. Given this I’ve decided to share a few thoughts on illness and relationships.

Illness makes me selfish. When I am unwell I draw inwards. My mind becomes focused on my own experiences of pain and suffering and with thoughts of how I can feel better. Of course we can’t maintain a healthy relationship if we are continually focusing on ourselves! The difficulty then is how do I attend my own needs, not denying that chronic illness is bloody difficult at times, and yet not become so focused on myself that I can’t be there for those I am in relationship with?

I suppose one thing that strikes me is the importance of keeping a certain separateness between my illness and my relationships so that my illness is not requiring a constant stream of attention and energy from those around me. My illness is MY experience. I need to find the time and the means to work through what that experience means for me as an individual – to work through the difficult feelings it brings up, reflect on the lessons that I have learned through it, even just to sit with it myself.

Having time to myself is restorative and vitally important. Once I’ve given myself time to process what’s going on with me and myself, I can focus more clearly on what is actually happening to those around me! It also prevents the potential for my loved ones taking on more than they need to.

Of course the other key thing in managing any relationship – and probably especially important when dealing with chronic illness – is communication. It’s not always easy to do, but no successful relationship seems to manage long without it.

That’s all my brain can splurge for now.

Going in search of coffee. x

To vent into the void

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So I begin my foray into the blogging world!

I suppose my first post calls for some sort of introduction to me but I’ll keep it brief. I think it more fun to let any readers unpick my personality as they go. I’m 29 years old and I live in Dublin, Ireland – which at the moment is grey and rainy and generally miserable.

So I sit with my coffee and appreciate the warmth and comfort of the indoors.

I have been sick forever (as long as I can remember) and I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. In addition to this, the latest of my medically unexplained symptoms has me undergoing testing for Lyme disease!

I have a keen interest in health, medicine and well-being, and given my own experience of illness I have a personal interest in helping and supporting others facing the same. I’m a firm believer in the power of peer support and I hope that through sharing my experiences others may find comfort and reassurance that they are not alone, that someone “gets it”, and that there is power in sharing our stories.

I also hope that by having somewhere to vent freely about how difficult life with chronic illness can be that I can improve my own well-being – and blogging is much cheaper than counselling!

Well that’s all for now. I’ll be back again soon.

P.S. I take my coffee black.